HWHIA discussions and testimonies

By Anthony:

Here are some testimonies, discussions, and stories from various Helping Without Hurting in Africa trainings from around the continent.

Here is a video from Christian Aid Ministries in Liberia. It was amazing to see how the training led them to make real practical changes to their ministry programming. Listen to them explain it in this video:

Participant Testimony:

"The lessons from Helping Without Hurting in Africa (HWHIA) 2024 have influenced my approach by shifting my focus from providing temporary relief to fostering long-term empowerment and sustainable development. By prioritizing dignity, partnership, and asset-based approaches, I now involve the needy in identifying solutions, build on their strengths, and avoid creating dependency. I’ve become more mindful of cultural sensitivity, holistic care, and the potential for unintended harm, ensuring my actions uplift rather than undermine. Ultimately, HWHIA has taught me to listen more, act with humility, and focus on sustainable impact that equips individuals and communities to thrive independently."

Here is a fun cake that the hosts of the training in Jinja, Uganda made for the graduation of participants. It was very cool!

Participant Testimony from Lillian Nakanyike in Uganda:

"When we were taught about the benevolence ministry, I returned home (that same day) and met with my lead pastor and his wife to discuss what I had learned and how we could streamline our benevolence ministry within our church. I was given the opportunity to have an in-depth conversation with the leadership (which lasted up to midnight), and one of the key points highlighted was that our church was very self-focused, despite being relatively new to the community (having relocated about 8 months ago from a town setting to a more residential village setting).

One of our action points was to identify an activity that focused on giving back to the community, while also sharing the word of God and making our presence known. Drawing from the classes I had attended with HWHIA, I suggested meeting with the village women, as we already had plans to celebrate Women's Day. My proposal was to have a presence in the marketplace, meet the women, clean the market, offer aprons, and use our expertise to educate them about preventable cancers and provide recommendations if needed. We could also share the word of God regarding self-care for women.

This idea was well-received, and we went on to have a successful Women's Day event. As we had anticipated, many women were unaware of our church's existence in the community, and they expressed interest in attending our services and invited us to interact with them periodically. Our intention is to make Christ known to them and see transformed lives, both spiritually and in terms of their health."

Another Testimony:

"The lessons from HWH 2024 have profoundly shaped my perspective and approach to helping the needy and vulnerable. They have heightened my awareness of the needs around me and equipped me with strategies to address these needs effectively without fostering dependency. Instead of offering unrestricted aid, I now focus on providing regulated support that encourages self-reliance and inspires individuals to take active steps to improve their circumstances. This balanced approach ensures that help is both impactful and empowering."

Another Testimony:

"As I provide support, I prioritize sustainability and empowerment, helping individuals overcome current challenges and fostering long-term growth. My goal is to facilitate a deeper connection with God, nurturing a secure faith that transcends temporary solutions. Through my experience, I've learned to encourage individuals to focus on their relationship with God, rather than solely relying on human support. This approach has proven effective in promoting spiritual resilience and independence. The Holy Spirit has also granted me discernment to look beyond immediate circumstances, identifying underlying issues and providing permanent solutions. By addressing root causes, I help individuals break free from recurring struggles, experiencing lasting transformation and spiritual liberation."

Group Discussions 

One of the activities during our training is dividing the group into separate groups of men and women so that they can determine how to spend a certain amount of money on behalf of the training group. It's a quick activity to demonstrate the importance of hearing from many voices in the community, including from different types of people in the community who have diverse needs and concerns.

What is quite funny to me is that in almost every training group, regardless of which country we are in, the ideas presented by the men and the women are very predictable. Almost every time the men come up with ways to invest the money to multiply it for the future. And in almost every group the women come up with ways to care for the personal needs of vulnerable people in the group, such as those with disabilities. Jonny and I always laugh at this because the pattern just keeps reproducing itself. I'm guessing the results might be a little different in the USA where gender roles are less rigid. But it's very interesting to see how God has gifted men and women differently and how they both have important ideas, but very different.

An interesting discussion that comes up a lot in our trainings is the issue of benevolence ministry and how most churches are wary of getting too involved in such ministry. Why? Churches don't want to attract a lot of materially poor people to their services, nor do they want to be known for having a lot of poor people. This is because of how strong the prosperity gospel is in Africa. The powerful testimonies of God at work are always about people prospering financially. Having a church with a lot of poor people makes people worried that others won't be attracted to come to their church. On top of this is a very practical concern that I understand well: if your church begins attracting a lot of poor people as you care for them, you might struggle with constant requests for financial help.

Something very different from our culture in the USA is that I repeatedly hear from pastors who attend our trainings, in any of the countries we have trained in, this statement - "Being here at the training is a vacation for me!" This tells you how busy and exhausted most pastors are in their lives and ministries.

Video Interview of Anthony and Moses

 By Anthony:


When some of the Resonate communication team members visited Uganda, this is one of the videos they were able to capture:

Pastors Marriage Conference

By Anthony and Sara

We had a busy few weeks with almost back-to-back marriage conferences, first the one for bishops and then another for pastors.  Both were at the same hotel in Jinja, which gave us a very good deal and took great care of both groups.

The participants in the pastor marriage conference were mainly from the book discussion group Anthony started in Soroti, but since not all of the members could go to the conference, they opened it up to some Timothy Leadership Training facilitators as well.

We were grateful to have Dr. Conrad Mbewe and his wife, Felistas, from Zambia, facilitate this conference.  We picked them up from the airport and did a touristy birdwatching boat ride to see shoebill storks in the morning, before heading to the conference. Conrad and Sara were very excited by the birds and we got to see a shoebill stork for the first time. It wasn't even an adult and was still huge and amazing!

Here is a picture of the juvenile shoebill we saw (Conrad took this photo):

The pastors in the book group had read "God's Design for the Church", by Dr. Mbewe, and were excited to get a chance to ask him follow up questions about it. Conrad and Felistas also facilitated wonderful sessions on topics like: creating boundaries between the church and the family of the pastor, preparing for retirement, the experience of being a pastor's wife, building physical and emotional intimacy in marriage, and physical and mental health.

Felicitas led some private discussions with the women:

The pastors planned their conference to have a bit more free time than the bishops did, so they enjoyed relaxing in the evenings - going to the gym and swimming in the pool. A few people went swimming in a pool for the first time in their lives. Some couples even were able to fit in a boat ride to see the Source of the Nile River (the hotel is located right next to the Nile).   

Dr. Mbewe's teaching was incredibly helpful and clear. All of the participants really appreciated it. There were some things they knew, but needed the reminder and the encouragement to pay attention to in their families and ministries. And other topics which were completely new for some of them to think about.

These pastors were also interested in taking a farm tour, so Sara organized a tour of Uwepo's farm, just outside of Jinja, where she took some youth in 2023. Uwepo has so many interesting plants and practices which they do an excellent job teaching about on the tour. The pastors and wives came back from the farm full of excitement. It opened their minds to new business ideas and new types of trees and plants. 

Sara did the same drawing activity that we did with the Bishop's marriage conference. Each of the pastors and wives had to draw one another following Sara's instructions. People seemed to have a fun time with it.

Peter testimony - "I am so grateful for the opportunity to be part of the marriage conference. The teachings really impacted me and how it was planned was very interactive. The visit to the farm too was timely and opened my mind to such great ideas. The bread fruit and the rabbits and chicken touched me. I look forward to doing something soon."

Richard testimony - "It was such a blessing to attend the retreat together with my wife. This indeed is a turning point in my marriage since we learnt together. I have indeed gained a lot of insight in the  different topics.  Doctor Conrad Mbewe is so gifted a speaker.  My appreciation goes to the sponsors through Rev. Anthony, who made sure that the couples get an opportunity to be treated fantastically in such a luxurious hotel Paradise in Jinja.  That would not be possible without funds.  May God richly bless you all."

Moses testimony - "Thanks so much my friend and brother in Christ Jesus. The book club meetings have made a big change in my ministry. 1. Roles of church members. 2. Different ways of raising church money. 3. Discipling. 4. Teachings among others. 5. The marriage retreat was exciting since it was our first time. 6. Planning for retirement was crucial in the workshop. I have started making some re-forms in the ministry. Thanks God bless you and our partners."

Basil testimony - "I was so impacted by the marriage retreat and I would love to share my experience. First of all thank you for how you organized the daily program while we were at Jinja. This arrangement gave engagement with my family at a very deeper level but also produced a certain rest both in my mind and body. I am now working on a few things as I prepare for retirement, I have sketched a workable plan to implement what I learnt in class and the farm visit. But above the list of things I am grateful for is a spark of fresh intimacy developed between me and my wife. And to all our supporters, thank you for conveying God grace and favor to us through your finances, I am forever blessed. Shalom to you."

Joseph testimony - "This conference has brought a positive change in my relationship with my wife. In the first case we had not got time earlier to be out in such a hotel but this time this conference enabled us to enjoy such facilities. Secondly the teachings on retirement preparation, visit to UWEPO farm has opened our eyes as a family to plan on how we can utilize our land effectively. I would like to thank our partners from America for sponsoring this retreat. May the Almighty God bless all of you abundantly."

Some video testimonies from the ladies:

 

Stella's husband is the one who taught her to speak English after they got married, and encouraged her to join him in ministry.

 

You may notice a common theme: that many women are anxious about participating in ministry with their pastor husbands.  The husband has often received some theological training and goes to informal trainings all the time, but his wife hasn't had the opportunity for that kind of training.  Yet she is often expected to be like a pastor to women, since she is married to the pastor.  

Bishops Marriage Conference

By Anthony and Sara:

Thanks to everyone who gave financially to make this marriage conference possible and who have been praying for us and for the bishops and their wives!  It was a great success and the bishops and their wives are so grateful for the opportunity you gave them to rest and learn together. It is pretty normal for bishops to get to spend time at workshops at nice hotels, especially for programs put on by development partners, but it is rare for them ever to have an event that is directly for them and about them, and rare for it to be an event that includes their wives. It opened up space and time for them to talk intimately as couples and work on issues in their families.

Bishop Robert Olupot and his wife Christine share with you all - "We want to extend our sincerest gratitude as couples for the opportunity to participate in this bishops conference program organised by Resonate Global Mission through Rev. Anthony and Sarai. Insight and knowledge were gained on practical ways or steps of selfcare a minister should practice to maintain positive mental health and building physical and emotional intimacy as a couple, and many other topics handled. These were truly enlightening. Thank you once again for organising such a beneficial program."

Our Resonate colleague, Stephen Omoko, invited one of his professors from Pan Africa Christian University (in Nairobi), Dr. Arthur Shikanda, to facilitate the conference.  He teaches psychology and also has experience as a pastor.  He was a great facilitator and made the sessions very interactive and interesting for the group.

Some of the topics for the conference were: preparing for retirement; mental health; creating boundaries between work and home; the importance of exercise, nutrition, and sleep; sex within marriage; and how to create family quality time.

Boundaries are a huge issue. So many people in the community come to a bishop's home to receive support, whether they are looking for a financial handout, or a meal, or a place to stay while visiting that town. This puts a lot of pressure on the whole family of the Bishop to be constantly ministering to people's needs and showing hospitality. Bishops also leave their phones on all night long. Christians call on them for a load of reasons and it disrupts their sleep seriously. One bishop shared about a person calling him in the middle of the night because that person's home was being robbed, so the bishop would call the security personnel in the area on his congregant's behalf. There is expectation that the bishop should do everything, and in the church culture, it makes it hard for the bishop to delegate responsibilities to others.

Consider that a bishop might have 200 churches they are overseeing, each with 100 adults. Now, imagine the stress that comes when any of those 20,000 people want the bishop himself at any burial or wedding, of their own, or one of their relatives. Of course these bishops have to say "No" a lot, but it is difficult. There is a lot of expectation. People want the bishop to grace their occasion, not just any pastor.

When teaching about mental health, Dr. Shikanda gave everyone a depression test (using Beck's depression inventory). He also generously offered follow-up therapy over zoom for anyone who needed it before he will refer them to others.

Sara did a short art exercise for the couples, teaching them how to draw a face, and then guiding them through drawing their spouse.  The instruction probably could have been done better (she learned from the experience how to improve this lesson...), but the results were pretty entertaining!  At the very least, it led to fun and laughter for the couples.

At the end of the conference, on the way home, the group organized a tour of Busoga Farmers Resource Farm, an organic farm started by a pastor who offers educational tours. They really appreciated the farm tour as it gave them some agricultural ideas for business projects to do at home to prepare for their retirement. It also gave them practical ideas for helping the pastors and Christians they lead.

Below: "Growing your own food is like printing your own money" 

Here are a few of their testimonies:

One couple says - "This has been an eye-opener on some gray areas especially in understanding the needs of church leaders. I will take this home and implement."

A wife shares - "I am very excited about this learning. God worked out a miracle for me. For the last 28 years of marriage, starting from the time after wedding, this was the first session I got to learn and discuss and be part of such a seminar. Most years marriage seminars at home are organised and he (her husband the bishop) is busy translating and organising while I am alone."

Another couple says - "We were able to make powerful reconciliation and our intimacy has improved."

Another - "I really appreciate Anthony and Sara for your initiative in this retreat. Just know we are not going to remain the same way we came. Certain challenges that looked big were answered. I pray this be a beginning but should carry on. Thanks."

Another - "This conference is just an eye opener for us. We should have another conference of this kind."

Another - "The conference was all about me. I thank God. God bless you richly."

After the conference, one bishop is taking the ideas he learned and is already organizing over 100 of his church leaders for a marriage conference that he will host. He is also planning to take them for a tour of the same farm the bishops visited. We are really encouraged by this.