Pastors Marriage Conference

By Anthony and Sara

We had a busy few weeks with almost back-to-back marriage conferences, first the one for bishops and then another for pastors.  Both were at the same hotel in Jinja, which gave us a very good deal and took great care of both groups.

The participants in the pastor marriage conference were mainly from the book discussion group Anthony started in Soroti, but since not all of the members could go to the conference, they opened it up to some Timothy Leadership Training facilitators as well.

We were grateful to have Dr. Conrad Mbewe and his wife, Felistas, from Zambia, facilitate this conference.  We picked them up from the airport and did a touristy birdwatching boat ride to see shoebill storks in the morning, before heading to the conference. Conrad and Sara were very excited by the birds and we got to see a shoebill stork for the first time. It wasn't even an adult and was still huge and amazing!

Here is a picture of the juvenile shoebill we saw (Conrad took this photo):

The pastors in the book group had read "God's Design for the Church", by Dr. Mbewe, and were excited to get a chance to ask him follow up questions about it. Conrad and Felistas also facilitated wonderful sessions on topics like: creating boundaries between the church and the family of the pastor, preparing for retirement, the experience of being a pastor's wife, building physical and emotional intimacy in marriage, and physical and mental health.

Felicitas led some private discussions with the women:

The pastors planned their conference to have a bit more free time than the bishops did, so they enjoyed relaxing in the evenings - going to the gym and swimming in the pool. A few people went swimming in a pool for the first time in their lives. Some couples even were able to fit in a boat ride to see the Source of the Nile River (the hotel is located right next to the Nile).   

Dr. Mbewe's teaching was incredibly helpful and clear. All of the participants really appreciated it. There were some things they knew, but needed the reminder and the encouragement to pay attention to in their families and ministries. And other topics which were completely new for some of them to think about.

These pastors were also interested in taking a farm tour, so Sara organized a tour of Uwepo's farm, just outside of Jinja, where she took some youth in 2023. Uwepo has so many interesting plants and practices which they do an excellent job teaching about on the tour. The pastors and wives came back from the farm full of excitement. It opened their minds to new business ideas and new types of trees and plants. 

Sara did the same drawing activity that we did with the Bishop's marriage conference. Each of the pastors and wives had to draw one another following Sara's instructions. People seemed to have a fun time with it.

Peter testimony - "I am so grateful for the opportunity to be part of the marriage conference. The teachings really impacted me and how it was planned was very interactive. The visit to the farm too was timely and opened my mind to such great ideas. The bread fruit and the rabbits and chicken touched me. I look forward to doing something soon."

Richard testimony - "It was such a blessing to attend the retreat together with my wife. This indeed is a turning point in my marriage since we learnt together. I have indeed gained a lot of insight in the  different topics.  Doctor Conrad Mbewe is so gifted a speaker.  My appreciation goes to the sponsors through Rev. Anthony, who made sure that the couples get an opportunity to be treated fantastically in such a luxurious hotel Paradise in Jinja.  That would not be possible without funds.  May God richly bless you all."

Moses testimony - "Thanks so much my friend and brother in Christ Jesus. The book club meetings have made a big change in my ministry. 1. Roles of church members. 2. Different ways of raising church money. 3. Discipling. 4. Teachings among others. 5. The marriage retreat was exciting since it was our first time. 6. Planning for retirement was crucial in the workshop. I have started making some re-forms in the ministry. Thanks God bless you and our partners."

Basil testimony - "I was so impacted by the marriage retreat and I would love to share my experience. First of all thank you for how you organized the daily program while we were at Jinja. This arrangement gave engagement with my family at a very deeper level but also produced a certain rest both in my mind and body. I am now working on a few things as I prepare for retirement, I have sketched a workable plan to implement what I learnt in class and the farm visit. But above the list of things I am grateful for is a spark of fresh intimacy developed between me and my wife. And to all our supporters, thank you for conveying God grace and favor to us through your finances, I am forever blessed. Shalom to you."

Joseph testimony - "This conference has brought a positive change in my relationship with my wife. In the first case we had not got time earlier to be out in such a hotel but this time this conference enabled us to enjoy such facilities. Secondly the teachings on retirement preparation, visit to UWEPO farm has opened our eyes as a family to plan on how we can utilize our land effectively. I would like to thank our partners from America for sponsoring this retreat. May the Almighty God bless all of you abundantly."

Some video testimonies from the ladies:

 

Stella's husband is the one who taught her to speak English after they got married, and encouraged her to join him in ministry.

 

You may notice a common theme: that many women are anxious about participating in ministry with their pastor husbands.  The husband has often received some theological training and goes to informal trainings all the time, but his wife hasn't had the opportunity for that kind of training.  Yet she is often expected to be like a pastor to women, since she is married to the pastor.  

Bishops Marriage Conference

By Anthony and Sara:

Thanks to everyone who gave financially to make this marriage conference possible and who have been praying for us and for the bishops and their wives!  It was a great success and the bishops and their wives are so grateful for the opportunity you gave them to rest and learn together. It is pretty normal for bishops to get to spend time at workshops at nice hotels, especially for programs put on by development partners, but it is rare for them ever to have an event that is directly for them and about them, and rare for it to be an event that includes their wives. It opened up space and time for them to talk intimately as couples and work on issues in their families.

Bishop Robert Olupot and his wife Christine share with you all - "We want to extend our sincerest gratitude as couples for the opportunity to participate in this bishops conference program organised by Resonate Global Mission through Rev. Anthony and Sarai. Insight and knowledge were gained on practical ways or steps of selfcare a minister should practice to maintain positive mental health and building physical and emotional intimacy as a couple, and many other topics handled. These were truly enlightening. Thank you once again for organising such a beneficial program."

Our Resonate colleague, Stephen Omoko, invited one of his professors from Pan Africa Christian University (in Nairobi), Dr. Arthur Shikanda, to facilitate the conference.  He teaches psychology and also has experience as a pastor.  He was a great facilitator and made the sessions very interactive and interesting for the group.

Some of the topics for the conference were: preparing for retirement; mental health; creating boundaries between work and home; the importance of exercise, nutrition, and sleep; sex within marriage; and how to create family quality time.

Boundaries are a huge issue. So many people in the community come to a bishop's home to receive support, whether they are looking for a financial handout, or a meal, or a place to stay while visiting that town. This puts a lot of pressure on the whole family of the Bishop to be constantly ministering to people's needs and showing hospitality. Bishops also leave their phones on all night long. Christians call on them for a load of reasons and it disrupts their sleep seriously. One bishop shared about a person calling him in the middle of the night because that person's home was being robbed, so the bishop would call the security personnel in the area on his congregant's behalf. There is expectation that the bishop should do everything, and in the church culture, it makes it hard for the bishop to delegate responsibilities to others.

Consider that a bishop might have 200 churches they are overseeing, each with 100 adults. Now, imagine the stress that comes when any of those 20,000 people want the bishop himself at any burial or wedding, of their own, or one of their relatives. Of course these bishops have to say "No" a lot, but it is difficult. There is a lot of expectation. People want the bishop to grace their occasion, not just any pastor.

When teaching about mental health, Dr. Shikanda gave everyone a depression test (using Beck's depression inventory). He also generously offered follow-up therapy over zoom for anyone who needed it before he will refer them to others.

Sara did a short art exercise for the couples, teaching them how to draw a face, and then guiding them through drawing their spouse.  The instruction probably could have been done better (she learned from the experience how to improve this lesson...), but the results were pretty entertaining!  At the very least, it led to fun and laughter for the couples.

At the end of the conference, on the way home, the group organized a tour of Busoga Farmers Resource Farm, an organic farm started by a pastor who offers educational tours. They really appreciated the farm tour as it gave them some agricultural ideas for business projects to do at home to prepare for their retirement. It also gave them practical ideas for helping the pastors and Christians they lead.

Below: "Growing your own food is like printing your own money" 

Here are a few of their testimonies:

One couple says - "This has been an eye-opener on some gray areas especially in understanding the needs of church leaders. I will take this home and implement."

A wife shares - "I am very excited about this learning. God worked out a miracle for me. For the last 28 years of marriage, starting from the time after wedding, this was the first session I got to learn and discuss and be part of such a seminar. Most years marriage seminars at home are organised and he (her husband the bishop) is busy translating and organising while I am alone."

Another couple says - "We were able to make powerful reconciliation and our intimacy has improved."

Another - "I really appreciate Anthony and Sara for your initiative in this retreat. Just know we are not going to remain the same way we came. Certain challenges that looked big were answered. I pray this be a beginning but should carry on. Thanks."

Another - "This conference is just an eye opener for us. We should have another conference of this kind."

Another - "The conference was all about me. I thank God. God bless you richly."

After the conference, one bishop is taking the ideas he learned and is already organizing over 100 of his church leaders for a marriage conference that he will host. He is also planning to take them for a tour of the same farm the bishops visited. We are really encouraged by this.

Baby Chameleons and Ululating Videos

By Anthony:

So this is another random pictures post, but I wanted a unique title. First, I'll share some pictures from when Rev. Tim Gamston visited for the Galatians Preaching Conference. 

We visited a rural church together. Here is a video from the worship time.

I also asked if I could capture some of the ladies ululating on video so that you could hear it:

Here is Tim being given a chicken. If you visit us, prepare yourself to hold a live chicken.

Here is a video of the church members posing for a photo outside:

We visited the pastor's home. His name is Julius; Sara and I taught him in 2009 at Pentecostal Theological College. 

We were given a concert by one of the church members. He is singing about Jesus being our pilot (meaning that he is our way to eternal life and Heaven).

Tim and I also got to go to Murchison Falls National Park together. We took the hike to the top of the falls which I had never done before. It was worth it!

Later in the year we had some visitors come from one of our supporting churches, Calvary CRC in Minnesota. They were on a World Renew trip but were able to spend a couple days with us which was a big encouragement! We are thankful for Randy and Leon. We introduced them to various church leaders and farmers we work with as well as to TLT facilitators.

More recently we had a team come from Resonate Global Mission to do a country evaluation in Uganda of our ministries and partners here. We didn't capture a larger photo of the whole team, but we were blessed by their visit and felt very encouraged and affirmed in the work we are doing. It was a nice time to catch up with these visitors who are also our friends. Here is a photo at the Source of the Nile River of our regional team leader Mike Ribbens, and Albert Strydhorst who I worked with on TLT for many years.

On the theme of visitors, we also had a last visit by our friend Jilanne who was a short-term missionary with Resonate Global Mission in Kampala but finished her two year term and is now back in the USA. That was sad for us. We really appreciated having her around!

The last visitor I'll share about is our friend Nathaniel who just finished his time with the Peace Corps in Uganda for two years. It's also sad that he is leaving! Before he goes back to the US, he decided to have an adventure and walk from his home in Kitgum to us in Soroti, and then on to Kenya, all on foot. Ugandans can't imagine someone doing this for fun, so he gets many offers of discounted motorcycle rides! Haha. When he reached our house he was exhausted:

Here are some of the roads he walked on:

Now on to the chameleons. You remember that we had put a lot of them in our yard. Well apparently they are having babies.

A friend also brought a turtle for my pond:

I'm not going to share about it here, but ask me over email if you are interested in hearing about a monitor lizard.

I continue to enjoy fishing in my pond:

The fish are too stubborn most of the time to bite my hooks, so I have been mastering a cast net:

The pond recently got as full as it can get due to the rain, though the sides aren't level.

I have experimented with some large gill nets as well. They work decently for the tilapia but more work to untangle unlike the cast net. 

Here are catfish I caught, and one of them I cooked:

What we really like though are the tilapia. I will share with you our favorite recipe as well.

I didn't plan this, but it's become a bit of a demonstration pond, as many pastors, visitors, and kids want to learn about raising fish.

Life is not all baby chameleons and fishing. Sometimes life throws us challenges too. We just passed through a really trying time of about three weeks where it felt like everything was breaking down. When you consider that it can take rescheduling with a technician several times before something gets fixed, due to people not showing up the whole day, it makes things time consuming and tiring. 

First, one of our solar batteries went bad, and we needed to order new equipment. At the same time, the power grid in our area is having problems with low voltage (that can harm electronics), and it seems the power company has refused to fix it (for many months now). It was unfortunate that they happened right when we had to wait for our new batteries. Around the same time, we had to dig up hundreds of feet in our yard to find where our water pipe was leaking, since our tank kept running out of water. We found it and fixed it. Then two weeks later, we had to dig again to find a second leak. During this same time, we were having unstable internet. In addition, we discovered one of the staff at the internet company must have been stealing our internet data, but we have since called them on it, and there is no more issue. Further, a speeding vehicle passed us on the road and a rock cracked our windshield and we had to work with the insurance and garage to get it all fixed, which was a long process of paperwork. Then I had to travel to lead a training. Upon arriving, I discovered our projector was broken. Then the vehicle wiring was also broken, and I had to get a mechanic to come and work on the vehicle for two days of the training.

This is a bit abnormal. Life is not normally quite this chaotic. But God gave us strength to push through and still get our work done during this time. And he also provided people to fix almost all of these problems! I can't tell you how thankful we are for solar. We would have been basically without power for months straight without our solar.

Here is a video of a cool plant (mimosa pudica aka sensitive plant) that grows around Uganda:

Here is a lizard I rescued after it got stuck in our fence:

At church one day we had a surprise when the women had baked a cake. They called Sara up to the front because she was the one who taught them.

At certain times of years we get tons of fruit. Look at all the mangoes on the ground by the morning. Some days we fill 3-4 wheelbarrows with mangoes. Many we throw into the compost if they break on the ground. Others we give to friends, or to people at the shops in our trading center, or to the patients at medical clinics.

I still preach occasionally. Here is me preaching at one of the churches near Soroti:

I worked with a carpenter to set up an axe throwing target in our yard. We also use it for archery with local bows and arrows and for throwing knives. It's a great way to unwind! I used it with our friend Nathaniel.

We meet a few times a year with the bishop's group and their wives. Each time we teach on something different or facilitate an intentional discussion. Sara and I have been doing this together, along with our colleague Stephen.

I also meet once a month with the Pastor's Book Group. The discussions are very engaging. Most people cannot have 100% perfect attendance, but if we are all there we are about 35 people.

Plants grow quickly here. The joke is that if you can grow a tree just by poking a stick into the ground. We transplanted a banana sucker to a new area of the yard one day, and this picture shows how much the banana tree grew in the space of about 8 hours (the green part that shot up).

Our day guard Paul feeding the chickens, ducks, and pigeons in the video below. The pigeons are free range but they don't fly too far from the home because they know where food and safety are.

Sara with her friend Jane (and her daughter) who she meets with every week. Jane and Sara do a lot of teaching to church groups together.

A picture of us:

My wife is so cool that she delighted to paint a map of Middle Earth on our wall. It is as tall as me from top to bottom. Amazing and awesome to me.

Here are her paintings of Michigan and South Dakota (still in progress) on our outside wall.

Random other things: